Wine and the Art of Yes

Never Have I Ever

There are a lot of things that wine is teaching me right now. How to listen. How to wait. How to break the rules. Now, wine is teaching me to say yes.

For so long in my life, I’ve said no.

Here’s an example of what I mean. Have you ever played the game, “Never have I ever?”—where you ask questions that begin, “Never have I ever,” and people divulge their small rebellions?

I have. It was several years ago, I was at a friend’s wedding shower. For some context, I was one of the younger attendees, and I was in my thirties. Nearly everyone there had already been married and had kids (including the guest of honor). In other words, no one was an inexperienced prude.

Scratch that. I, the only Mormon, was a prude. I was inexperienced.

No, I had never.

Never had I ever had a one night stand. Never had I ever gone streaking. Never had I ever made out with a girl, gone to a strip-show, watched p*rn, gambled in Vegas, gotten drunk, had phone sex, used a fake ID, never had I ever…lived?

Because the answer to life was always no. No would keep me on the safe, covenant path. It may not be easy or fun, but it would be worth it.

A Shift

But, here’s the thing—even if you’re obedient, faithful, and know all of the platitudes of the generally accepted paradigm, life has a way of challenging you. That’s what we call “cognitive dissonance.”

I said “no” to that, too. I said no to the way that life challenged me. Until life became a little too loud, and my mental gymnastics became too difficult. I decided to hear life out. I wasn’t making a promise to change anything. But I would at least listen.

I learned that sometimes, no was the right answer.

I also learned that yes could be, too.

An Opportunity

So, after a lifetime of no, I wanted to say yes! But the reality is I’m a forty-six year old woman, with kids, a husband, bills, and whatnot. I don’t really have many chances to say yes, no, or anything at all. I work. I go home and put my feet up. I try to read, but fall asleep. I watch Jeopardy. It’s a lovely life, really. But it’s not like life in your twenties when you’re still exploring.

Okay. No big deal. I’d say yes when it comes up. Instead of feeling sorry for myself (I’m the one who said no for so long, after all), I just shrugged my shoulders and trusted that when the time to say yes arrived, I’d do just that.

And on Thursday night, when Mike asked me “Catania, would you like a glass?” I didn’t hesitate. I said something I’d never said before when it came to an offer of alcohol.

Wellington Square

Here’s the scoop: last Thursday, I was at a discussion group at my favorite bookstore - Wellington Square Book Shop. It was my first time attending this particular event. A topic had been chosen (love), and we were there to have a great chat.

I sat down at the table. Already there was a bottle of something (can’t remember - whiskey maybe?) And a bottle of Crown Royal (which made me think of my mom).

And then, Sam brought out a bottle of something else. I glanced at the yellow label: Veuve Clicquot Brut. Champagne. He stood up, opened the bottle with a pop. It was like a starting gun for the evening.

Sam poured the champagne, then handed me a glass. And for the first time in my life, I sipped on some alcohol in a social setting.

Gift from Bacchus

The experience was a gift I wasn’t expecting to receive.

A few weeks into this Zero to Vino wine journey, Pete and I were tasting the Cole Cellars Pinot Noir that week.

I took a sip. A sip. And another sip.

And then, I was feeling happy and relaxed. I was listening. I was laughing. I forgot all of the things I ought to do, and was just there. With Pete and my family. I could only imagine how much fun it would be to do with some other people.

I wrote in my journal:

This would be fun with people. This would be fun with friends. This would be fun with laughter, with music. This makes me want to really live. (May 29, 2025 Journal Entry)

But we haven’t had an opportunity. And I couldn’t imagine when we would. So I figured I would just forget about the desire. It would happen in due time.

Besides, I wasn’t in any kind of rush because I was still a little bit afraid of how I’d be if I was buzzed, tipsy, or even drunk in public.

Drunk in Public

Before drinking alcohol, I had no idea how it worked. I didn’t know how much alcohol one would have to drink before feeling drunk. I didn’t know that different types of drinks would have different strengths and effects. I didn’t know that eating first or during drinking would slow the effects of drunkenness.

I was just afraid of it all.

And before I started drinking, I was really afraid of what I’d say or do when I’d drink. I’ve heard it’s truth serum. I guess I’m afraid of the truth? I’m not sure. The closest I’ve ever been to “drunk” was when I’d had anesthesia for surgeries—which led to things like me singing Rico Suave.

(Maybe Rico Suave IS my truth? I don’t know.)

After a few weeks of drinking wine, I have learned the difference between buzzed and tipsy. Honestly, I think I’ve only been buzzed. I don’t know much about being tipsy. I’ve seen Pete tipsy, though. His eyes sway and he is hilarious. Neither of us ever have been drunk.

Alcohol isn’t like anesthesia at the hospital. It’s not instant like the stuff the doc gives you when you’re getting your hysteria removed.

Drinking with Pete and seeing the range was making me feel less afraid. So, without a single worry, I said yes to Mike.

I took my champagne from Sam.

And I sipped without hesitation.

The Champagne

I guess I should discuss the drink.

The label and brand meant nothing to me. I’m too new to wine to know which brands are good, bad, luxe, cheap, artisan, factory-made.

To me, the bottle looked beautiful and dignified, and I was just happy to understand the word Champagne. I knew I’d get something effervescent.

Effervescent it was. Light. Dry…yummy!

I took a sip. A sip. And another sip.

We had a great experience at the salon in a discussion that ranged from sexual, to serious, to moving. I spoke plenty (as I do). But I also listened. And I noticed that there, in my favorite bookshop ever, I was having this first:

Wine with people.

It felt like my own little Greek symposium (one that included women!) where we could be open and vulnerable. We laughed, we argued, we listened.

Honestly, the world is a better place because of wine with friends.

My life is better because I said yes.

Wine is Yes

It’s so simple to say yes. But it can be so hard to do. It pushes us out of our comfort zones. It might be a mistake. And we may look dumb.

But there is also the chance that yes will be a profound triumph.

Wine is a lot of things to a lot of people. And this may not be true for you, but for me, wine is teaching me to say yes. Through these first two months of Zero to Vino, I’ve said yes to:

• drinking wine

• getting a job at an Italian market

• talking to strangers at the Italian market

• sharing my own experiences with those strangers

• asking experts about wine

• looking stupid

• going to a wine class

• buying goblets

• drinking some champagne and risking doing something crazy like standing up and singing Rico Suave at a salon full of smart people

Yes.

Onward

The wine education continues.

As I start the next month of my Zero to Vino journey, I am going to continue my wine education. I’m still hashing out a few of the details on what I’ll do, but I’m pretty sure it will include more of the Kevin Zraly Wine Course.

What else do you think I should say yes to?